Game of Moans

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

Five years ago I saw Maleficent 1 and I think I liked it. Pretty sure but I don’t really remember. Now I’ve seen Maleficent 2 or Mistress of Evil. In five years I’ll remember this: I did not like it. There were a lot of strange creatures, the tiny mushrooms were, well, creepy. The “don’t raise your roots to me,” lurching tree people were, well, weird.  And then there were the fairies, so many strange little fairies. Ironic that during the same week NASA astronauts Jessica Meir and Christina Koch marked the historic first ever all-female spacewalk, Disney delivered three female leads that led nowhere. We get pitiful, weepy Princess Aurora (Elle Fanning); conniving, evil, Queen Ingrith (Michelle Pfeiffer), and the great horned antihero Maleficent (Angelina Jolie). Character development was DOA. Relationships lacked chemistry, unless you count iron, Kryptonite to the Moorsfolk and I don’t. The storyline periodically collapsed, like the writers knocked off and took a contractual hiatus. Maybe they flipped on Game of Thrones and caught some episodes because there were several times in Maleficent when I felt I was watching a GoT rip-off. (Apologies in advance to those of you who won’t recognize these HBO series references). As the church in the human kingdom was barricaded and the poor, unwitting woodland creatures and harmless fairies, guests of the royal wedding, desperately struggled to escape a ruthless poison massacre, I’m thinking, damn, Red Wedding. When Maleficent inevitably erupts into a cosmic rage, she totally turns into Mad Queen Daenerys and annihilates Ulstead, homeland of vapid, dull-as-dirt Prince Phillip (Harris Dickinson). “You must stop! This is not war, it’s slaughter!” Sound familiar? Hear The Bells? I scanned critic reviews after the movie and several times the word “genocide” was used.  Yes, genocide. Disney? Good god. The Mistress of Evil is a Trojan Horse that drops R-rated mayhem full of treasonous pixies, hateful humans, and winged denizens of darkness into unsuspecting PG audiences. Seriously, who would knowingly take little kids to this movie? I’m sorry I took myself. 

Author: Rev. Peggy Bryan

I was ordained an Episcopal Priest in 2009. View all posts by Rev. Peggy Bryan